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News: Girls U-8 Coach Forced to Resign After Tongue-in-Cheek Email

Discussion in 'Youth & HS Soccer' started by City Dave, Apr 1, 2009.

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  1. City Dave

    City Dave Member

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    A youth soccer coach was forced to resign after sending out a humorous email to parents. I think they need to put down their mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos and find a sense of humor. I guess the truth hurts just a bit too much.

    The following article has the entire text of the email and details about his resignation: http://www.patriotledger.com/sports/x575725578/-Green-Death-coach-resigns

    Here's an excerpt, one of the funnier parts:
    "I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food. Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy. And at the risk of stating the obvious, blue slushies are for winners."

    And for the record he did warn people at the end of the first paragraph:
    "According to my wife, my emails get too wordy, so for those of you read too slowly, are easily offended, or are too busy, you can stop here. For the others……"

    What a sad, PC world we live in. I'd love to have this guy coach my daughter.

    I was wondering what the people in this forum think about this incident?
     


  2. de Kromme

    de Kromme Member

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    Don't mind the humor, just completely age-inappropriate. Know your audience. I'd have chuckled if this were sent to HS age players, but it wasn't
     
  3. City Dave

    City Dave Member

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    It was sent to the parents, not the players.
     
  4. de Kromme

    de Kromme Member

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    Parents OF 7 YEAR OLDS.
     


  5. City Dave

    City Dave Member

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    Right, but your comment seemed to imply that you thought it was sent to the kids. No need to get all caps on me.

    And I have a 3.5 year old daughter. I would have thought it was humorous to receive this from the coach. But hey, as the commenting on the article itself shows you, people seem to be divided on this issue.
     
  6. striker2019

    striker2019 Member

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    Do parents of high school kids suddenly develop a sense of humor that parents of 7 year olds don't have? As a coach, I wouldn't have written that email because of what has happened to this guy - it's too easy to misinterpret it and get yourself in trouble. However, I think it's pretty obvious it's a joke. I understand parents wanting to be protective of their children, as they should be. But being overbearing and overprotective is probably similarly as harmful as never being around for your child. As some posted on the paper's public forum, how hard is it to pick up the phone, much less shoot out an email (better be careful using the word 'shoot' there I guess;)) and feel the guy out? Hey I had a youth football coach that was pretty hardcore when I was 7-8 years old and my parents didn't yank me from the program even though the first night he was yelling at kids for not doing this or that and was telling us to toughen up and the like. I wouldn't want my child to play for a negative role model like that, but I ended up alright. Still played another couple years after that (albeit for a different coach). I just can't stand how our society on the whole is so overly pc and takes any chance to jump on someone and 'get them in trouble'. I understand where someone without the requisite sense of humor would initially be concerned. But act like a civil human being and tell the guy why you're concerned and see what the deal is. He gave multiple phone numbers for those parents to contact him. I guess people forget to try and sort out issues with another directly, before going to the powers above. Does the email push the boundaries a bit? Yes, no question. Is there any reason for it to reach the point where I'm reading about it on a public internet forum? No way.
     
  7. Berean Todd

    Berean Todd New Member

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    No, but high schoolers are and should be taking their sporting a little more serious, whereas in the case of 7 years olds they are still SEVEN YEARS OLD, and should be treated more as such. Yes the email was tongue-in-cheek, but it also shows a bit of a misplaced stress on winning. At that age the kids should be about 1. Having fun 2. Developing skills. That's it. Winning isn't last on the list, it's not on the list at all.

    Does that mean he should have been banned like this? No I think the parents are idiots. But so was this coach.
     
  8. City Dave

    City Dave Member

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    So, if you accept that the email was tongue-in-cheek why do you think that the overemphasis on winning was not also tongue-in-cheek?

    Yes, it's obvious that that coach would place some emphasis on winning, which I don't have a problem with. But I think the overboard stuff was part of his "joke". You seem to think that winning shouldn't be on the list at all. That's a subjective opinion and is debatable.
     
  9. striker2019

    striker2019 Member

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    At this age, U8, I don't think winning should enter the equation at all, although we all know plenty of coaches who place emphasis on it. I took it to be part of the joke as much as eating raw meat, but I could be wrong. I don't think you can say from the email that the coach was or wasn't going to place some or any emphasis on winning. I really don't see where it matters what age the kids were. A joke is a joke and the parents are all adults who should be able to handle it. Some might find the joke distasteful and while I found it humorous, I wouldn't write it to any of my parents. I find it odd that it would be more appropriate to send it to parents of high school age players. It wouldn't make it any less of a joke.
     
  10. de Kromme

    de Kromme Member

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    I'll explain why the age of the child matters, at least to me. A coach who is willing to display that type of humor to the parents of a 7 year old may not fully understand the age group he is coaching, and may let ideas/jokes/comments slip out during training, when the parents aren't around, that I wouldn't want my 7 year old to hear. He may be the kind of guy I'd love to have a beer with, but parents do tend to see the world through the eyes of their children at whatever age they happen to be. If a comment like those made in the email slipped out within earshot of my high school age kid (when she gets to be that old), I'd trust she would have enough worldliness by that time that she could take it with a grain of salt, or even chuckle herself. Just the fact that he would take that chance with much younger children doesn't show the best of judgement in my opinion.

    If there was enough support of his actions among the parents, I wouldn't push the issue because everyone has their "style" or personality, but I would remove my child. Everyone has their mental checklist of things that you would just not allow someone to do that has the responsibility of caring for your child. Clearly the parents of kids on this team thought it went beyond the line, and we need to respect that. He'll coach somewhere else, and he'll either learn a lesson from this, or he'll find parents who are comfortable with him.

    Let's be honest, whether the email was serious or not (and clearly it wasn't--even I get that part, and I think the "winning" idea was tongue in cheek as well), he was still talking about 7 year olds, even if he wasn't talking TO them (yet). I just don't want a coach to offer up any reason whatsoever not to trust him 120%. Given a choice between this coach, and any other one who hadn't made these comments, all else being equal, I'd choose someone else.

    I personally love that type of humor, but I think context is key.
     
  11. ranova

    ranova Member

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    Great email. I loved it. The problem with satire is that someone is bound to think its about them. My guess is that some of the parents took this comment personally: "But it is imperative that we all fight the good fight, get involved now and resist the urge to become sweat-xedo-wearing yuppies who sit on the sidelines in their LL Bean chairs sipping mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos while discussing reality TV and home decorating with other feeble-minded folks." If he hadn't emailed their blackberrys, the yuppies would have never noticed while sipping their Starbucks in their LL Bean chairs. :)
     
  12. City Dave

    City Dave Member

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    Well, I'm going to have to send out an email to all the parents on my toddler team this week. Should I just use this email as a template? I won't find out the color for a few days yet. I'm hoping for green!
     
  13. #1 Feilhaber and Adu

    #1 Feilhaber and Adu Member+

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    Key word.
     
  14. de Kromme

    de Kromme Member

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    So you trust a guy that sends out an email like that to always use appropriate language around the children as well?

    If you are that trusting, please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Prince Nbueke Nwachukibe. I'm a Nigerian nobleman who has recently come into a large sum of money. However, it was left to me by a relative in the United States, and since I'm not being a citizen of your beautiful, I need an intermediary to contact the bank where the money is to being held.......
     
  15. #1 Feilhaber and Adu

    #1 Feilhaber and Adu Member+

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    You have a great point. But still, i feel he should have been given a warning first, before being forced to resign.
     
  16. de Kromme

    de Kromme Member

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    I'd probably agree to that. It seems like a decent compromise.
     
  17. New Engalnd Nellie

    New Engalnd Nellie Member

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    The letter was clearly a joke - and I thought pretty funny. I don't know the coach or the team parents, but a local news article said the coach had brought a young referee to tears last year and she subsequently quit. So his comments about officials were red flags. However, his co-coach maintained that this event with the young ref never happened. If it did happen he should have gotten a warning and it may be that this letter put him over the top.
     
  18. DC47

    DC47 New Member

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    I thought it was hilarious. And I admire coaches who approach their work with intensity.

    But I also thought it raised several red flags. If I was a parent of one of his kids I would have watched him carefully. Those flags:

    - Lack of social skills. An email like this is going to get a coach in trouble 9 out of 10 times. He didn't realize this. What else won't he realize?

    - Big ego. The coach used the pre-season email to have fun with his creative writing skills, at the expense of sending a clear and simple message to parents. Coaching egos are trouble in youth soccer.

    - Joking around about hazing refs. Anything remotely resembling this behavior in real life is a big problem. Referee quality means nothing in this age group. Someone who would criticize a teen ref in this setting is in the danger zone in terms of character.
     
  19. jeremys_dad

    jeremys_dad Member

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  20. sportsnut

    sportsnut New Member

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    I agree it was satire, but he coach should know his audience. If I had received his e-mail for my sons U13 team I probably wouldn't mind it. If I received it for my daughters U9 TEAM I still probably wouldn't mind it , but can see how some parents could be upset. All in all it is best to error on the conservative side.
     
  21. ctsoccer13

    ctsoccer13 Member

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    Reminds me of the High School baseball coach that got suspended for the following:

    http://www.wftv.com/news/19138135/detail.html

    As coaches, the kids are hanging on our every word and we are held accountable for each and every word (to an extreme in so many cases). I liked the letter, probably because I seem to have the same sense of humor, but I also would never have sent it, knowing that it would offend at least one parent. And nowadays, that's all it takes, 1 parent. I attended a coaching class last year for High School certification, and the instructor started off by saying that by the end of the class, you'll find more reasons not to be a coach than you will to be a coach. And most of the reasons center around the parents. Just my 2 pennies.
     
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