Doing these has really become monotonous over the course of a long season. Hopefully I'll be dead by January so I won't have to do these anymore and someone else can live with the overwhelming pressure and guilt. (How I feel about doing this already) vs. This is at the Bernabeu, where we have won the last 12 of 13 fixtures against these Basque assholes. Llorente somehow manages to find a consolation goal here and there though, but ******** him and his mother too. Real Madrid - Athletic Bilbao 11 Matches Played 11 3 Table Position 12 23 Points 14 19 Goal Difference -5 27 Goals for 16 8 Goals Against 21 The copy and paste format is not working but that is life I think you can tell who's who. David Beckham is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a 'tragedy'. One little boy stands up and offers that if my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street and a car came along and killed him that would be a tragedy. "No," Beckham says, "that would be an ACCIDENT." A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved..... that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains Beckham. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room is silent, none of the children volunteer. "What?" asks Beckham, "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says "If an airplane carrying David Beckham was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy." Beckham beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy "because it wouldn't be an accident and it certainly wouldn't be a great loss." Gerard Pique has gone crazy believing Shakira has been having an affair on him. In manic rage, he goes out and buys a gun. He rushes home to confront his wife, and finds her in bed with none other than Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Devastated, Pique takes out the gun and points it at his own head. "No, Gerard don't do it." Shakira cries jumping up from her spot underneath the covers...."I'm sorry and I know we can work this out." "Shut up and sit back Shakira," Pique replies. "You're next." http://onwardstate.com/2012/11/15/b...phanie-mccaffrey-makes-rape-jokes-on-twitter/ That was funny and the girl who tweeted them is pretty hot. Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" said Dad. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!" Two men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke. He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies " Yes i do " and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies " Oh I have a personal genie" The first man asks "Can i make a wish? " Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing" "Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Bucks " The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other " Your genie really sucks at hearing doesn't he?" The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"