The Things We Hear

Discussion in 'Referee' started by briansnat, Jun 10, 2012.

  1. Rufusabc

    Rufusabc Member+

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    No. Your job isnt that sideline. And it is best not to confront anyone on a sideline that isnt a coach, team official or player. You may need to have a plan before hand to deal with unruly supporters. And that doesnt include confrontation.
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  2. R.U. Kiddingme

    R.U. Kiddingme Member

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    Ya, "confront" is perhaps a poor choice and I do know that you are right. We are supposed to get the coach to deal with the parents.
    I just seem to forget that because I never see that happen.
    I don't know if it is just this area, but every time the people behind the touchline need dealing with, it has always been done directly by the crew, both center and sometimes the AR.
    I should have phrased my question, "should this be dealt with."
  3. Errol V

    Errol V Member+

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    I wouldn't rush to judgment about a comment such as this. While not likely, is is possible that the parent's intent is to recommend that the retaliation be similar, fair contact. Also, letting go with a loud "fair challenge there, guys" can prevent this type of comment. And I try to never respond at all to chatter from parents, but this makes me think about using a follow-up comment directed to the players but loud enough for the spectators to hear, "Don't listen to that (garbage) boys, that was fair contact, let's keep playing clean."
  4. Rufusabc

    Rufusabc Member+

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    The only time I have ever responded to a direct comment from a spectator was a racial taunt. u14B's, hispanic player schooling suburban team. Taunt. Gone immediately.


  5. R.U. Kiddingme

    R.U. Kiddingme Member

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    "Play tough," or "don't let em' push you around" would be fine, because then they are only recommending that the player respond in a way that is within the LOTG.
    It just bugs me I guess because they are perhaps unknowingly invoking foul play, and to me its like encouraging a player to strike, kick, trip, etc. another player.
    But I've never done anything about it in the past other then the solutions above, so as long as the fans don't start acting like the Sensei John Kreese (from Karate Kid again), I'll think just keep saying things like, "fair contact-lets keep playing guys."
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  6. uniqueconstraint

    uniqueconstraint Member

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    Not picking on fairplay here, but in 2013 can we make a resolution to get more imaginative in our debates/arguments? At least have some fun while we're berating each other.

    In 2013, instead of the usual "you should get out of refereeing" or "you do a disservice to the game", I resolve to use imaginative, more artful phrases such as "your real name must be Mowgli, as surely you were raised by wolves" or "I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?".

    I may even sprinkle in some Shakespearean or Elizabethan tones this year, just to be pithy (yes, I used the word pithy, not the lispy version of the other word).

    Happy New Year!
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  7. Rufusabc

    Rufusabc Member+

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    Hear, hear!
  8. R.U. Kiddingme

    R.U. Kiddingme Member

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    Would enjoy seeing the coaches join in this commitment and start creatively berating us, like this gem I heard from a British coach who was addressing a holding non-call that I apparently missed and went something like this:
    "Billy (one of his players), if he (opponent) wants your shirt that bad, then you should just go ahead and take it off and give it to him."
    I actually complimented him on that one after the game.
    Obviously those Brits have had a longer time to master the English language then we have.
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  9. uniqueconstraint

    uniqueconstraint Member

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    Put me down for a "Yea" vote on that one - I may (in a moment of insanity) print up and handout a "phrases not to use" guide which entail all of the ones (like "sir!" and "he/she/it was going for the ball") that were listed on the early pages of this thread and say "if you can't use something other than these, don't say anything please." :)

    Then, I would just sit back and wait for the phone call from my SRA...
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  10. Law5

    Law5 Member+

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    A Canadian referee, a FIFA at the time, said that, in the last moments of a very contentious professional game, a player said to him, "What porch did your mother crawl out from under when she had you?" He replied, "That's the most creative thing I've heard all day. I'm not going to send you off, but it will be in my game report." It was and the league gave the player the same punishment as if he'd been sent off.
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  11. fairplayforlife

    fairplayforlife Member

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    Doth protest too much!
    - Someone from Shakespeare's time.

    Happy New Year!
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  12. nsa

    nsa Member+

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    I've been known to tell a player (as I card him) that he has to try out to get that shirt; he can't just take it off the player's back. ;)
  13. iron81

    iron81 Member+

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    I once gave an AC to an entire sideline of parents.

    U12G. I denied a penalty shout which riled up the home parents. A few minutes later, away fouled home pretty hard near the parents side which I called. I got a few more comments from the home side including "ridiculous" and a particularly angry "That's twice!". An away parent then lobbed a "jackass" comment toward the home parents. I never saw who the specific transgressors were for these comments, I rarely do.

    Y'all advise new refs to "use your personality" when doing man management. It seems my personality dictates the drill sergeant approach. So I square up to the parents and yell "That's enough!" While looking back and forth between the two sides. I then yell "I don't want to hear any more comments from either side. Set a good example for your children." While still looking at the parents, I point and yell "Home kick, let's go". That was the end of my issue with those parents.
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  14. fairplayforlife

    fairplayforlife Member

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    "Gentlemen, save the tugging and pulling for the bedroom. This is a soccer pitch." :D
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  15. socal lurker

    socal lurker Member+

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    I've also found that a stentorian "that's enough" in youth games toward the sidelines can be sufficient to dramatically reduce inappropriate carping. I think sometimes parents get used to refs who will take all kinds of abuse, and sometimes just being clear it isn't OK is enough to get them to remember they are parents not neanderthalls.
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  16. msilverstein47

    msilverstein47 BigSoccer Supporter

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    you have to "love" the mother's reply...

    MIAMI (WSVN) --
    A high school referee is speaking out after a volleyball player allegedly hit her in the face during a game.
    Olivia Harrington has been a high school referee for more than 10 years, and she said she was deliberately hit by a player who attends Westminster Christian School.
    Harrington said she received a broken nose after a player hit the volleyball right into her face. "It busted blood vessels in my eye and caused my eye to bleed inside. I officiate volleyball games, I don't look at stats, I don't want to know who the better team is or anything because I want to call a good, clean game," she said with tears in her eyes.
    The alleged incident happened inside Coral Reef Sr. High School. A video released shows a player going up and then smacking the ball and hitting the referee in the face. "He chose to take that ball and turned and hit me in my face as hard as he could. He has a vicious look on his face," said Harrington.
    Police conducted a full investigation and reviewed the video multiple times, but they said, they cannot make an arrest if the incident is questionable. "No way for our detectives to be able to prove that this was done completely intentionally. In fact, that's what the State Attorney's Office agreed with us, as well," said Miami-Dade Schools Police Chief Charles Hurley.
    Westminster released a statement Wednesday that read: "Westminster conducted a thorough investigation of the allegation, which included interviewing the student in question, and reviewing the video of the incident and sworn statements from public school officials, and witnesses provided by the Miami-Dade School Board Police. This due process resulted in the schools decision to suspend the student for the remainder of the school year."
    "I can't even imagine that a child would be so vicious to even do anything like that because of a game. Someone has to win and someone has to loose," said Harrington.
    Detectives from the Miami-Dade Schools Police said this was a very difficult case.
    The head coach of the boys varsity volleyball team and his assistant, were permanently removed from the coaching staff of varsity volleyball. A third member of the staff was suspended.
    The mother of the suspended volleyball player issued a statement about the incident stating: "He did not see the ball make contact with the woman because he rarely has control of where he is hitting the ball. What a way of destroying a good young man's life.''
  17. fairplayforlife

    fairplayforlife Member

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    This is where my BS alarm starts going off. "You must have a really good team if a Varsity player doesn't even have to be able to control the ball when they hit it to make the team."
  18. FLRef

    FLRef Member

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    Suspended for the rest of the school year? Guess he straight up admitted to doing it on purpose.
  19. Law5

    Law5 Member+

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    So, this is in the category of "do as I say, not as I do." :rolleyes:
    I'm doing a JV boys game, solo. A certain socio-economic attitude involved here, if you know what I mean. [There was a Rolls Royce parked in the student parking lot, which is closer to the building than the faculty lot.] The ball goes out for a corner kick, into a mess of reeds and water. While the attackers are fishing out the ball, the remaining players are already in position for the corner and are starting to push and shove. I'm standing by the far post, not believing what I'm seeing. After all, the ball is still out in the weeds somewhere! The two worst guys, standing in front of the goal, are really starting to get into it now, so I just said, "Are you two dating?" One guy sprints to the center circle. The other guy peels off and runs to the far touchline. As the ball finally makes its appearance near the corner, I hear a voice say "Yeah. They got a lot of gay guys on their team." And another voice replies "You wish," just as the corner kick is finally taken.
  20. Errol V

    Errol V Member+

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    Another good New Year's resolution would be to be conscious of the qualifiers in each other's posts, for certainly there are limits to what any of us will allow in the questionable behaviour of players.
  21. fairplayforlife

    fairplayforlife Member

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    I have never actually used my previous quote. I would highly recommend not using it in any game where a minor might be involved as the repercussions should the comment be taken poorly would be bad.
  22. MOREFFIN

    MOREFFIN Member

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    My experience with this has usually been limited to mid level and lower and younger ages and typically comes from less knowledgeable parents. The higher the skill and older the age, this usually disappears.

    The only time I would encourage a response of any nature is if it happens several times. Usually there is nothing good to come from responding to the very first utterance (unless it's inappropriate).

    It might also be a good time to quickly review your foul selection and consider tightening things up slightly. Then you get "But REF! Earlier that was not a foul!" :D
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  23. techguy9707

    techguy9707 Member

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    Huzzah!

    Meddle Not In The Affairs Of Dragons For You Are Crunchy And Taste Good With Ketchup
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  24. NBTHOMCCC

    NBTHOMCCC Member

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    The best all-purpose Shakespearean quote for coaches (or forum trolls)
    "Thou Idol of idiot-worshippers!"
  25. BigManIntheMiddle

    BigManIntheMiddle Member

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    My mentors taught me to call the Coach out on the field and have a civil conversation with them and let them address the parents. This works OK some of the time, but it is always my first attempt.

    Thent there are the coaches who won't comply. I had a coach last week tell me "you can go ahead and write it in the report, whatever you need to do, but they are upset about the game and so am I". I took his advice and wrote it down. I hear he wasn't very happy with that.

    When I need to get loud, I do, and I intimidate the hell out of the youth teams. Some adult teams as well. At 6'9" and 250 lbs, I am a presence. I actually had to learn how to speak "Play On" because when I shouted it as felt natural, I did more to stop play than keep it going. So when I start to really raise my voice it is usually heard on the next pitch. Which usually draws the Field Marshall who singles out the offending parties and removes them for me.
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