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What - nothing on Keegan?

Discussion in 'Premier League: News and Analysis' started by Matt Clark, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. Russell1892

    Russell1892 Moderator Staff Member

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    Newcastle United FC
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    You think you're sick of it? 90% of what is said is bullsh*t anyway - Ashley's gonna sell (yeah because after putting in £70m of your own money and potential relegation being on the horizon there is only profit to be had).

    To be honest we all have doubts - once the "euphoria" of Keegan's appointment died down (which was pretty much a bunch of overweight 13 year olds dancing for Sky Sports News cameras - how had they even seen Keegan's Newcastle anyway? - I'm guessing it was through watching their Dad's 'Howay 5-0' Video) We did think "well probably better than Allardyce - but the mountain is much bigger now" Yes.. we think in poetic metaphors.

    When he was appointed manager we hoped he would take his 'apprenticeship' at Bolton and learn lessons that could be applied to a bigger club... He was really a victim of circumstance and missed out on players he wanted to sign and we were left with the car boot sale signings we eventually made.

    Actually when I was at St James' for our dismal 0-0 draw with Bolton I heard someone say "F**kin hell that could have been us." I laughed.

    This relegation battle has been in the post for years.... it finally arrived on our doormat 15 minutes after Shepherd fooked off. Its the increased competitiveness of the Premiership coupled with years of bad decisions (since FFS showed Sir Bobby the door) that leads us to where we are now.

    In that case Allardyce was a year ahead of his time signing 'thick try-hards' Smith, Barton, Cacapa, Geremi. I'd mention 'Larduka' but he could never be accused of trying hard... he'd probably sue me for slander. How many tins of XXXX does 60k a week buy you?
     


  2. BlackburnRover

    BlackburnRover New Member

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    Yeah like I said in my first post on this, your fans haven't really asked for all this stick (well most of them). For some reason the media loves you and never misses an opportunity to tell us all about the Glorious Toon. So you get stick when it goes to shit. You probably wish they'd piss off and let you get on with it too.

    FFS was a good example of how not to run a club but Ashley's a bit weird isn't he. Suddenly starts turning up in a Newcastle top as the fans' man. You lot must have been thinking "Who's this nob?". Or some poetic metaphor ;). Still, if he turns things around who gives a shit.
     
  3. Russell1892

    Russell1892 Moderator Staff Member

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    Haha yeah that pretty much sums it up... we wouldn't say the media loves us.. I can't remember when we've been referred to as the "glorious" toon. they twist the knife all the time - which is a bit like stabbing a baby deer with no legs at the minute. Also what the hell is going on when Man Utd fans are singing "cheer up Kevin Keegan" at a game against Portsmouth? We know everyone is pissing themselves laughing at us at the minute... in a way we don't see with other clubs. We pray for year round transfers again so the papers can fill themselves with idle chat about those again.

    They also think that decisions are made in a barn somewhere just outside Wallsend where all the supporters get together and vote on important decisions like getting rid of Allardyce and replacing him with Keegan. When a decision is made they say "oh those crazy Newcastle fans".

    Oh and we all believe Kevin Keegan can turn water into Stella Artois by smiling at it and giving it a cheeky wink.

    We don't know what the hell is going on with Ashley really. We imagine he's in it to make money... which is hard to see happening, he has said himself he's in it for fun (another thing thats hard to see happening as supporting NUFC is about as fun as having your nuts in a vice.) He makes his living selling shirts (and tracky bottoms) so we don't know what to make of him showing up in a Newcastle shirt... I couldn't give a f**k if he showed up in a clown outfit with matching red floppy shoes, we'd just assume he was trying to be more like his hero who's name he wears "Smith 17".
     
  4. BlackburnRover

    BlackburnRover New Member

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    Yeah, suppose from the other side of the fence it's like they're twisting the knife while on this one it's like being force fed crap news we're not particularly interested in. It's a weird fascination they've got.

    You mean you don't decide it all in a barn? Our media are such lying tossers;)
     


  5. Russell1892

    Russell1892 Moderator Staff Member

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    I know what you mean - things like Keegan and Wise arguing over which colour the curtains should be in the player's lounge... the media has an insane infatuation with spreading sh*t about this club.

    Chelsea "sack" the most successful manager in their history and replace him with a little known manager from that hot-bed of football success Israel, nobody calls them crazy. We sack a manager who led us to 1 point against Derby, and some of the worst performances I've seen since Souness was in charge, garnished with some woeful signings and we're all insane. Just found out Allardyce got a lump sum of £4.5m too... you'd think he wouldn't bitch in the press so much. Maybe Bolton will take him back? He can take them as far as he can, again, starting from where he started (yes I know thats a confusing sentence).

    Keegan is a legend at Newcastle because he led us to safety in 1992 when it looked like we'd drop into what is now league one and probably bankrupt the club and send us out of existence. It has nothing to do with almost winning the premiership. This is why he was nicknamed "the Messiah", note to the media - just because something turns 16 years old doesn't mean you have to shamelessly f*ck it.
     
  6. City Dave

    City Dave Member

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    Are you sure?
    :D
     
  7. superdave

    superdave Member+

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    Well, Newcastle got 4 points last week.

    The dream is dead.

    Long live the dream!!!
     
  8. Russell1892

    Russell1892 Moderator Staff Member

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    I said you don't HAVE to. :rolleyes:
     
  9. ToonUSA

    ToonUSA New Member

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    There's only one...
     
  10. Matt Clark

    Matt Clark Member

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    :D

    The cycle completes. And begins again. My Geordie mate, who was texting me about Keegan and using language his mother would definitely not approve of just a few short weeks ago is now firmly of the opinion that it's a Champions' League spot for Newcastle by this time next year.

    You have to love it. Keegan fries people's brains. Don't know how he does it, but he does it.
     
  11. mplsTOON

    mplsTOON Member

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    I have an idea...

    [​IMG]
     
  12. fernb8

    fernb8 Moderator Staff Member

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    :D

    well done to Kev, didnt think he would do it, but also didnt want to see them relegated.

    At least the media hacks will have good material to use next season regarding Keegan. Its a win/win for the hacks-

    if he struggles the back pages will be full

    if he does well- the Messiah has returned.
     
  13. Motterman

    Motterman Member

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    fmp
     
  14. leg_breaker

    leg_breaker Member

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    Four managers in a season, this is just taking the piss.
     
  15. billyireland

    billyireland Member+

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    Keegan, Kinnear, Shearer, and... who am I missing again? It's getting hard to keep track of. :eek:
     
  16. Kazuma

    Kazuma Member

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    Allardyce prior to Keegan.

    I'm just wondering if Shearer will keep his players awake if he talks like he does on MOTD.
     
  17. billyireland

    billyireland Member+

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    Allardyce was gone last season. Thinking about it though, hasn't Houghton taken over the last while?
     
  18. Russell1892

    Russell1892 Moderator Staff Member

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    Chris Hughton has been in caretaker charge since Kinnear left for his appointment with the rib-spreaders. Wouldn't class him as a manager though. He was also in charge before we appointed Kinnear... should it be 5 managers? :rolleyes:
     
  19. Motterman

    Motterman Member

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    I don't know what people expected, really.
     
  20. superdave

    superdave Member+

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    bump

    This time around is different for me...one reason I want Nuke to relegate is because of Rovers' position in the table. :mad:
     
  21. superdave

    superdave Member+

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    On the Fox Soccer Report they mentioned that if Newcastle get relegated they're almost certain to have a very, very dire financial crisis, and stand a very, very good chance of spiraling down to League One like Leeds. But it was kind of an aside, there wasn't any explanation of exploration. Is that accurate?
     
  22. Matt Clark

    Matt Clark Member

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    Not really. The Leeds situation was completely different. They had loads of debt and no investors. Newcastle have minimum debt and a billionaire owner.

    If Ashley still intends to sell the club, then he needs to invest and get them back into the Premiership, pronto. So it's down to him - if he goes for it, his pockets are bigger and deeper than anyone else's in the division, barring the Mafia down at QPR. He'll also raise a fair bit from selling the likes of Duff, Martins, Owen, Barton and Carroll.

    On the other hand, if he decides to just keep one pound ahead of the rest and rely on parachute money to see his thinning squad through the first season in the Championship, then they might conceivably do a Coventry, or an Ipswich - stagnate at the lower level, too good to go further down, nowhere near good enough to come back up again. But on balance, I think he'll set his stall out on immediate promotion.
     
  23. superdave

    superdave Member+

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    Well, that was their point, that NU's wage bill is completely unsustainable without the Prem money. They'll have to sell off almost all of the high-wage talent. Which pretty much covers the NU squad, doesn't it? Who do they have who is both good and cheap? The idea is that by the time they clear out the high wage players, they'll be left with moderate wage players who ain't that good, the cost structure of the club will kill them.

    And given their ages and injury and brawling histories, how much are Duff, Barton, and Owen really worth ITTET? Enough to bring in guys who can help them in the CCC, sure, but enough to bring in guys who can get them back up the first try? Hmmmm.

    Maybe they'll do like they did last year and start getting results at the last moment and save themselves.
     
  24. leg_breaker

    leg_breaker Member

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    I'd imagine that Newcastle's crowds and revenues would be the highest in the championship, so if they manage to offload their high-wage players, they could be in a good position to come back within a couple of seasons. It'll probably do them good in the long run to get rid of the deadwood.
     
  25. act smiley

    act smiley Member

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    The problem is the sheer quantity of deadwood though. Its very easy to become unsustainable, if not careful; the problem is they would need to be rid of almost all the first team. Players like Harper, Krul, Edgar and Carroll would have a chance to shine, but when you think about it they've got the following senior players:

    Coloccini
    Jose Enrique
    Nolan
    Cacapa
    Barton
    Martins
    Owen
    Duff
    Guthrie
    Bassong
    Taylor
    Xisco
    Harper
    Gonzalez
    Smith
    Gutierrez
    Geremi
    Beye
    Butt
    Ameobi
    Lovenkrands
    Taylor
    Viduka

    Think of how many of those are on Premier league contracts; they're looking at a Carroll/Lovenkrands partnership up front for next season with no senior backups, if you assume they lose all the big money players like Ashley will almost certainly do.


    The debt thing is also a bit of an unknown, as 'no debt, its all paid off' seems to have been morphing around quite a lot in statements I've read recently.
    I don't think they're likely to go into Leeds style financial meltdown, even if Ashley still tries running things on the cheap, but that's no guarantee of success.

    Basically, there's no guarantee they'll reinvent themselves and come back looking fresh - if anything I think they'll stagnate a while due to financial constraints: they might get 40,000+ in the Championship, but that doesn't help much when its been budgeted for sellouts and TV money.
     

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