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When Iniesta scores, everyone in the city becomes pregnant-An all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

Discussion in 'Barcelona' started by sibuor, Dec 23, 2007.

  1. Hendrixforpope

    Hendrixforpope Member+

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    Chuck Norris wears an Iniesta jersey while sleeping at night :cool:
     


  2. Greddy

    Greddy Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    From Arnold Schwarzenegger's IMDB profile

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Hendrixforpope

    Hendrixforpope Member+

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    Photoshop?

    Brilliant nontheless :D
     
  4. Mojam5

    Mojam5 New Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    [​IMG]
    After this yell from the Great One, half of the stadium went officially deaf...the other half, just blind and stupid. He has been begged to show mercy and restrain his celebrations.

    Fact: Iniesta doesn't count any of his goals that don't break the keeper's hands.

    Iniesta will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

    Iniesta does not wear a condom, because there is no such thing as protection from Iniesta

    As a kid, Iniesta used to make snowmen.....out of rain.

    The only time Iniesta has ever been wrong was when he thought he made a mistake.
     


  5. 35mmMessiah

    35mmMessiah Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    And here I thought we were hit with a thunderstorm this side of the pond. :p
     
  6. unclesox

    unclesox BigSoccer Supporter

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    Paper beats rock.
    Rock beats scissors
    Scissors beats paper.
    Andrés Iniesta dominates all.


    Andrés Iniesta has never blinked in his entire life. Never.


    Andrés Iniesta does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, the RAE will simply change the actual spelling of it.
    The OED follows him around with pen and paper at the ready in the event he ever attemps to speak English.
    Esperanto is also known as "Iniestian".


    Andrés Iniesta invented water.


    Arriving in Madrid for El Clasico, Andrés Iniesta was brought a stillborn baby bull.
    A crowd gathered as Andrés Iniesta brought the toro back to life by giving it a prolonged tummy rub.
    Shortly after the animal had taken its first few breaths, Andrés Iniesta tossed a football near the bull and went in on a hard sliding tackle, breaking all four legs as well as the neck of the animal.
    Just a reminder to all Madridistas that Andrés Iniesta giveth and, the good Palido, he taketh away.
     
  7. jfcule

    jfcule Moderator Staff Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    Andres Iniesta once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

    The last digit of pi is Andres Iniesta He is the end of all things.

    Andres Iniesta did not “lose” his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

    When Yoda met Andres Iniesta , he said, “Your bitch, I am.”

    Andres Iniesta wasn't born with feet, just cleats

    When Andres Iniesta crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

    Andres Iniesta doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

    Some kids piss their name in the snow. Andres Iniesta can piss his name into concrete.
     
  8. PARAdoxx

    PARAdoxx New Member

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    Mar 1, 2007
    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    Blatant but great.
    Haha :D These are brilliant!


    "I liked that good tackle." (John Motson)
     
  9. Greddy

    Greddy Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    Blatant! How dare you! It's the same size, same font, and spaced perfectly with the rest of the text. I see no signs of fakery! ;)

    Just FYI, I used Pixelmator, and I wasn't going for subtlety.
     
  10. PARAdoxx

    PARAdoxx New Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    @Greddy
    Trained eye, my friend.

    FYI, anyone who doesn't know Andrés Iniesta's full name without looking at Wiki or FCB.cat will sooner or later inevitably feel the wrath of the mighty one (and Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Andrés Iniesta kicks you, your relatives will feel it).

    Andrés Iniesta does NOT love Raymond.
    Andrés Iniesta is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
    Andrés Iniesta once jumped off the Empire State Building and he only sprained the road.
    Andrés Iniesta digs graves with a sliding tackle. One-footed sliding tackle.
    And for the record, there are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Andrés Iniesta lives in Barcelona.
     
  11. jfcule

    jfcule Moderator Staff Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    Well, the Pale One was honored by one of the Barça peñas as the best player of last season. He went to receive this award with 50 fans from his hometown, Fuentealbilllo(they call it his hometown, but we all know he wasn't born there, he just suddendly appeared there one day sorrounded by white light...very white light).

    As with any deity, they humbly gave him an offering of his bodyweight in wine, chocolate, anis and cheese. Being as merciful as he is, he only weighed 67.3 Kg that day. We all know that if he had revelad his real weight, this offering would've collapsed the country's economy.
     
  12. PARAdoxx

    PARAdoxx New Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    This guy can consider himself very lucky.

    [​IMG]
     
  13. YoungR10

    YoungR10 New Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    Iniesta doesn`t cut his hair - His hair cuts itself.
    When Iniesta walks the ground lights up underneath him like the Billie jean video.[​IMG]

    Iniesta isn`t really pale, it is just the light from within making his body glow.

    Iniesta doesn`t strike the ball, it moves whenever he tells it to.

    Iniesta eats Madradistas.

    Iniesta doesn`t sleep

    Iniesta chooses who wins and looses
     
  14. YoungR10

    YoungR10 New Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    I am officially resurrecting this great thread. Felt it was only necessary, as Iniesta coming back into the team has obviuosly lifted us up and helped stabalize the team again.

    Iniesta doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Iniestaonce ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. Andres Iniesta once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him blink. Iniesta recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. Iniesta died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. Oh , and he wont die of a heart attack, because is heart is to scared to attack him .
     
  15. DutchFootballRulez

    DutchFootballRulez Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    Nobody was going to see the movie "The Watchmen" until Andres Iniesta bought a ticket, it became No. 1 at the box office instantly.

    The character Dr. Manhattan is based on Iniesta's childhood.

    Andres Iniesta is the "Change we can Believe In. "
     
  16. jfcule

    jfcule Moderator Staff Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    For future reference, here is The Pale One's website:
    http://www.andresiniesta.es/

    He doesn't have to type, his thoughts instantly upload into the blog.
     
  17. inswinger

    inswinger Moderator Staff Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    This Sport cartoonist is flirting with sacrilege:

    [​IMG]
     
  18. Skyhawk

    Skyhawk Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    I approve of this message
     
  19. gmonn

    gmonn Member+

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    Iniesta's rep is blowing up. There's this meme going around that he's better than Messi. As his incarnation, I mean. If this was supposed to be true he would make it obvious.
     
  20. NattyBo

    NattyBo Member+

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    [​IMG]


    I looked, and there was a pale midfielder! His name was Iniesta, and Hades followed him. They were given authority over La Liga to kill score golazos, break ankles, dribble around defenders, and flat out ball on b*tches.
     
  21. gmonn

    gmonn Member+

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    [​IMG]

    "Bethink thee of Iniesta, whence come those clouds of spiritual wonderment and pale dread, in which that white phantom sails in all imaginations?"
     
  22. Joep

    Joep Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    just thought i'd share this

    our little andres
     
  23. os_mutante

    os_mutante Moderator Staff Member

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  24. Hendrixforpope

    Hendrixforpope Member+

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    He blindeth me with his pale glory.
     
  25. DutchFootballRulez

    DutchFootballRulez Member

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    Re: Iniesta was what Willis was talkin' about-The all encompassing Andres Iniesta thread

    Pray to Iniesta for a 0-5 in the Bernabeu
     

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